OASIS AND BACK TO LONG BEACH

The last day of family being here - Michelle and Valerie.
I had some pictures of the last few days that I forgot about
and wanted to include a few.

I've been meaning to post to finish off our stay at Oasis and update everyone about the status of the PET scan.

Valerie had another full day of treatment on Thursday and we went to class from 11am-12:30pm.  Even when we hear some of the same information, we learn so much.  And I should mention that the cafeteria staff are always so friendly and concerned about Valerie.  We always eat in the room because Valerie is attached to an IV poll and she often has to be on oxygen during some of the treatments.... so it's usually just easier.  The staff always ask how she is doing and they sometimes make a point to visit the room "to pick up our tray" so they can see her and tell her hello.

Our last breakfast out - sweet Lily and Great Aunt Val.

Friday we woke up and started to pack up.  Melissa had made plans to drive down to Rosarito with Jermaine and go horseback riding on the beach.  And I was up and down in the courtyard waiting for my uncle and cousin.  My cousin, Timmy (my dad's twin sister's middle son) has been struggling with his own bout with cancer and his dad, my Uncle Wayne, had made arrangements for them to go to Oasis for an in person consultation.  So the two of them, plus Timmy's wife, Kim, arrived around 9:30am and we hugged and talked for awhile before they saw the doctor.  They had to leave right after seeing the doctor, but not before Wayne came up and met Valerie and hugged her neck.  (I am so disappointed that I did not get any pictures of Wayne, Timmy, and Kim.)

Lily and Tracie acting
silly.  :-)

Valerie and I went to class at 11am again.  When we got back to the room (around 12:30pm), Melissa had returned.  I don't think I mentioned before, but Melissa did not have a passport with her when we got to Mexico, but her parents overnighted it on Tuesday.  As of 1pm Friday, we still had not received it.  Needless to say, we couldn't leave until we had her passport.

We got the passport around 4pm and proceeded to pack up the car and head out.  All of our experiences crossing back into the U.S. have involved a LOOOOOOONG wait.  This was, thankfully, the shortest wait we had ever had - and we even had time to pull over and make some shopping from our car.

We stayed the night in San Diego - partly because it was late and Valerie was tired and worn out from a week of treatment, and partly so I could see my uncle and cousin before they flew out the next morning.  It turned out that Valerie had a migraine and went right to bed and Timmy was exhausted from the day and he and Kim headed to their room around 7pm.  I met up with my Uncle Wayne and a couple of his coworkers.  They had been there the previous week for work purposes are were all leaving the next morning.  I got to spend a delightful evening with 3 Tennessee gentleman and talk to my Uncle Wayne about their trip to Oasis of Hope.  It really was an enjoyable dinner.  It turns out that Timmy wasn't sold on what they told him at Oasis - they did say they thought they could help him, but with the travel involved, which is very difficult for him, and with the unknown results, he wanted time to think.

The next morning - Saturday - we headed home.  That Tuesday was my birthday... mind you, last year, my birthday was exactly 10 days after Valerie found the lump in her breast and we headed to Urgent Care - it was a CRAPPY birthday.  This year, I took the day off work, decided I wanted to go see Star Wars: Phantom Menace in 3D ---- I LOVE Star Wars!!  And then we went to Parker's Lighthouse - paid for by my mom and dad and Valerie's mom (THANK YOU!).  I had crab legs that were BEYOND DELICIOUS!!!  And my sweet beloved spouse would not even take one bite because she knew how much I was completely enjoying them.  It was a thousand percent better birthday!!

Melissa and Valerie snuggling during an IV with Oxygen.

Then, that Friday, we had a scheduled appointment with Valerie's U.S. oncologist, Dr. Chen.  We met with him and talked about the need for a PET scan.  After much explaining, he finally understood and agreed that a PET scan would be helpful.  The catch is that he said a regular PET scan is not helpful in determining if the cancer is still in the bones - just in tissue and other organs - but that a special PET scan, a sodium chloride PET scan, is the only one that would show cancer in bones.  And of course, it's not a PET scan that they do at our hospital ... even though it's the "best."  But Dr. Chen also works in Long Beach and says he used this PET scan with Medicare patients all the time, so he ordered it and we will wait to see how much it will cost us to have it done through the PPO side of our insurance.

Me enjoying my crab legs ... they were DELICIOUS!

So, for now, we will just continue to plug along.  Getting the house done is still priority number one.  We have taken some time off to entertain and thank family and friends but are determined to get back to it now.  There are still some basic things around the house that will make healing and health a much easier goal once we are done.  I think people sometimes think we place too much emphasis on this, but I can not say enough how much impact it has on our health and well-being.  And of course, I am focused more on Valerie's health and well-being right now, but it really does impact us both in huge ways.  We will both be more relaxed and more healthy after this intensely stressful year, once we have a few more things done around the house.

Love to you all!

OASIS OF HOPE - ROUND 3

Lucia, one of our enfermas favoritas!

We arrived at Oasis yesterday morning for a week of "booster" treatment as they called it.  The doctors here recommended a week of treatment to continue the positive momentum Valerie has been showing.  Their reaction to seeing her this time has been so fun to watch.  :)  Her doctors literally just stare at her and smile... then they look at me with their mouths hanging open and point to her as if to say, "can you believe this?!"  And one of the nurses asked "Como estas?" as he rounded the corner into our room.  Valerie responded "Muy bien!" And when he looked up and saw her he said, "Muy bonita!"

It has been such a different trip this time around.

I suppose I should back up a bit... After Valerie's family left at the end of January, we've spent the past few weeks getting used to an empty house, reestablishing routines, and continuing our work on the house.  Then last Friday, Valerie's niece called and said that she and a friend would be at our house for dinner!  They had taken off on a spontaneous road trip, were currently in Las Vegas and headed our way!  :)

After a series of twists and turns in their trip, Melissa ended up being able to come with us to Mexico!  So, the three of us are currently at Oasis of Hope for the week.  And did I mention how different things are?! :)

Valerie & Melissa - walking along the boardwalk - Tuesday.

The first day of treatment was Monday, the day we arrived, because we did lab work last week and brought it with us.  So after getting here promptly at 10am, they brought Valerie's first IV at about 1pm.  :-/  Such is life here at the Oasis.  Even with that late start, Valerie still finished by about 7:00pm (6 treatments).

Tuesday, Valerie began treatment at about 9am and finished (6 treatments) by 1:30pm.  I don't think that has EVER happened.  There are several things that impact how quickly she can finish... how quickly they change the IVs when they are finished, how early they start once we tell them she is ready, and how well she is feeling and how well she is tolerating the treatments.  Obviously, the only ones we have any control over are the latter 2.  So, needless to say, Valerie feels much better this time around and is plowing through the IVs like they are water.  :-)

Our view at dinner - Tuesday.

Tuesday afternoon was a bit of a roller coaster.  Patients here can participate in the doctor's treatment team meeting if they request it - soooooo we requested it.  At 2pm, they called us to the meeting.  Valerie's regular doctors were there - Dr. Cecena, Dr. Carbajal, and El Jefe, Dr. Contreras - as well as 2 other doctors that are part of the team.  From this meeting we learned that they are THRILLED with her progress, and that their recommendations are:  1) for her to continue all current treatment for at least the next 3 months; 2) for her to have a PET scan (because it lights up the areas that are malignant - in her bones and in her breast); and 3) then to decide if she'd like to have surgery (likely a mastectomy).

Melissa and Valerie watching the sunset - Tuesday.

Their current impressions are that with her HUGE improvements in strength, weight gain, tumor markers, and overall general well-being, it's likely that she's pretty close to being in remission.  They would consider her completely in remission if they could see a PET scan with nothing lighting up (which is pretty much what they expect) and if they removed the lump or breast.

This was VERY exciting news.  To think it's been ONE year since Valerie found the tumor and they are now talking about taking steps to validate that she is in remission.  Unbelievable.

So we headed back to the room and I immediately called Valerie's U.S. oncologist.  I left a message asking if he would order the PET scan when we return.  His P.A., Jennifer, who we generally talk to, said that after talking to Dr. Chen, he doesn't see any need for the PET scan.  In their view, Valerie will always have Stage IV Breast Cancer, so there's not really any benefit to imaging.  And for the same reasons, they would likely never do surgery.  WOW.  Talking about taking the wind out of someone's sails!!  I was V.E.R.Y. angry.  I explained more fully to Jennifer why the doctors were requesting the scan and what their long term goals are for surgery.  She agreed to talk to Dr. Chen more about it.

Watching another sunset - Wednesday.

After hanging up and relaying her words to Valerie and Melissa, I could see that my anger was stressful for Valerie, so I went out in the hallway to pace and cry.  So now I'm thinking I've got to find out how much it costs to get a PET scan here and how much surgery will cost here.  This just never ends.  I would have liked to throw something, but hey, they've been really nice to us here.... I'll just have to wait until next Friday when we are in Dr. Chen's office. :) 

Sunset - Wednesday night.

After awhile, Valerie came out to find me and we hugged and talked and agreed that no matter what, she's going to be fine and we are going to figure this out one way or the other.  It's hard to believe how much there is to deal with - over and over and over and over.  Just when we think we've got a handle on one thing, another one pops up.  But Valerie is healthy and strong and we do both believe that things will continue to get better.

Today, Wednesday, treatment began about 9:30am and finished around 3.  Things are going SO smoothly that sometimes it's hard to believe how difficult the first 2 times were.  I told Melissa today that I sometimes look around and see the stress of other people who are here and it all just comes flooding back to me - I feel their stress and worry and remember my own.  But as long as Valerie continues to make huge strides and outdo herself everyday, I'm good.  And I wish the same and more for all of those here now.

Melissa doing a photo shoot at sunset with Jermaine.

Tonight we all 3 walked down to the water to see another sunset and to meet a friend that Melissa had made today - Jermaine.  She had agreed to take some pictures of him... and yes, we wanted to tag along and make sure he wasn't a serial killer. :)

Couple of more days of treatment and then back home to keep on keeping on.  Thank you all for reading and caring!

WE'VE MADE IT THIS FAR - AN END AND A BEGINNING

Valerie & Lily dancing on the beach in our fair city.

HELLO!!!!  Sorry for leaving you hanging.... :)

I’ve gotten a few nudges since then and I’ve been thinking about updating - but somehow my THOUGHTS do NOT turn into actions!?!?  ..... if only...

So I’m just going to recap the month of January - because it was a DOOZY (from a business standpoint).

Since they had time to waste, Sara took advantage of the
local homemade tequila.

January was a bit of a whirlwind.  Janurary 4th, Valerie’s sister, Sara arrived (her 2nd trip).  She was here from 1/4-1/10.  You’d have to ask her, but I think she had a great time from the looks of her Facebook page!  She did a lot of kayaking, biking, and working out.  

We were running out of some of Valerie’s supplements (from Mexico) and had decided that we just needed to go down and get a refill.  [Background:  I communicate regularly with the aftercare people in Mexico and I can order SOME of her supplements and have them mailed, but due to the U.S.A.’s restrictive laws, we can’t get ALL of them mailed.]  So Sara rode with Valerie to the Oasis of Hope to get a bag full of supplements to last us a few months.  

Sorry for the graphics - but this ended up being a big part
of the last month.  Valerie's mom had to let Valerie take
care of her during this time - making her breakfast, cleaning
her wound, getting her medicine, and checking on her 24/7.

One of the meds was not readily available, so they had to waste some time before heading home.  Other than Valerie almost falling asleep while driving, they made it there and back in one piece with all of the medications and Valerie was grateful not to have to drive alone.  [Background:  I have to be very careful about the time I take off - with the time I’ve used to go to Mexico and the trip we plan to take soon - I don’t have a lot of time to spare.  Otherwise, I would have liked to have driven down and gotten them for her myself.]

The day after they returned from Mexico, Valerie had her monthly appointment at the oncologist's office.  She received her monthly IV of Zometa.  It's getting better, but it tends to wipe her out for days after - sometimes exhibiting flu like symptoms for up to 3 days.

Mom P's "bandaid"

The following weekend, Valerie and I were headed off on our bikes to eat brunch.  Valerie got a phone call from her mom asking for a bandaid.  We put the bikes back up and went to see what happened.  Let's just say that these pictures do not even come close to showing how AWFUL the cut on her leg was.  She ended up needing a trip to the ER and about 10 stitches.  After all of that and daily cleanings, she's gone through an infection, 2 rounds of antibiotics and she's still on the mend.  Glad we rushed over to give her a bandaid! :)

Joseph & Maria transforming our garage!

From 1/11-1/16, we went to physical therapy, work, a play, and worked A LOT around the house.  There is still so much to do - painting, moving boxes, reorganizing, hanging things on the walls, staining the cabinets, etc.  Valerie and I do those things every spare minute we have that we aren’t just wiped out.

The play we saw was at our local theater.  Valerie, her mom, and I went to see “Barefoot in the Park.”  We had been wanting to go since we moved here and it was fun to go with Mom P. - even though I think she may have snoozed for a minute or two.  :)

Joseph & Aunt Val

On January 17th, Valerie’s nephew, Joseph and his wife Maria, arrived.  We have not seen Joseph for about 10 years and we have never met his wife, Maria.  They stayed from 1/17-1/23.  And again... you’d have to ask them, but I’m pretty sure they had a great time!  They went whale watching, to Disneyland, and walking around Long Beach.

Joe & Lily / making "dinner" on our new kitchen nook
table - Michelle had it in storage & it belonged to her and
Valerie's grandmother

Joseph took a day to put some extra shelves in our garage and in our front closet.  Maria is a natural at organizing and taught us all about “totes.”  :)  She and Valerie went shopping for storage and before Valerie knew it, Maria had filled up their carts with large storage Rubbermaid containers!  We are SO thankful to have extra storage and to have “seen the light” when it comes to “totes.”  :)

Having dinner at one of our favorites - The Pizza Place
Joe, Michelle & Melissa

During that time, we continued to go to 

Physical Therapy twice a week, Valerie had a blood draw, and we had to attend an all day training for our continuing education units for our licenses.

Two days after Joe and Maria left, Valerie’s sister, Michelle, her husband Joe, and one of their daughter’s, Melissa arrived - from Colorado - by car.  And little did we know.... when they arrived, they had a 30 pound living, breathing 

surprise in the car with them.  They brought Savannah’s daughter, Lily with them!

Valerie said that different people brought different things -
some brought furniture, some brought their expertise....
and she said, Lily brought the Sunshine. :)

While they were here, Joe hung the last of the blinds to get put up in our place.  WHEW!!  He, Michelle, Melissa, and Mom P. spent the last few days posting things on Craigslist and cleaning out #12.  It was a BIG job!

Valerie had decided that she really wanted to do something nice as a “going away” for her family.  Her mom had been here for 4.5 months, and Michelle had been here 4 different times for a total of about 7 weeks - and she had opened and closed the #12 condo.   So, Valerie bought whale watching tickets as a “going away” thank you. 

Great Grandma (Grandma Gigi) putting
lipstick on Lily

It has been hard for Valerie to do fun physical things for several reasons - she has been so weak for so long, and now that she has some strength, she has taken back up the chore of our on-going remodel - in the hopes that she will have a warm, healing environment sometime soon.  Between all of that, plus working regularly, there's hardly a minute to spare.

Since family first started arriving - July 28th (Vanessa) - until they all (Joe & Michelle, Mom P., Jon, Melissa, Sara, Bill & Dianne, Joseph & Maria) left - January 31, this is a snapshot of what happened.....

Front Row! on the whale watching trip!

Aunt Val & Melissa headed out to see the whales.

• Valerie was hospitalized because the cancer had spread to her bones, causing her calcium levels to rise to a dangerous 14.8 (normal is 8.6-10.2) --- her calcium is now a smooth 9.6.
• Valerie came home from the hospital using a walker and sleeping in a hospital bed --- she now sleeps in her own bed and hasn’t used a walker in months.  (side note - her physical therapist just gave her permission to jog... see video below)
• Valerie’s “tumor markers” reached a high of 162 (normal is below 32) --- it is now a low 27.
• Valerie was sent home for palliative (look it up) care by her U.S. oncologist --- she has since been to Mexico for treatment and her Mexican oncologists say that she is doing fantastic and they expect her to live a long healthy life.

There are still many ongoing challenges:  daily mega-doses of supplements; medication side effects - hair loss due to the low doses of chemo she’s taking, hot flashes due to the hormone blocker; pressure not to eat sugar or carbs because the tumor loves those things (think about what you really WANT to eat when you’re stressed and/or down); oh yeah, and then there’s the whole - “you’ve got a deadly disease, but DON’T STRESS OUT because that will kill you sooner” advice.  

In spite of the challenges, and largely because of the love and support of all of you, we push on and laugh as much as possible, love each other the best we can, and send our most sincere thanks and gratitude for each of you who have sent packages, invested your time & sweat, sent money, love, texts, and your warm thoughts.  We wouldn’t be here without you.

Here's to 50 more years!

I will continue to sporadically update the blog when eventful things happen - i.e. trips to Mexico / changes in health / or when I randomly feel like it. :)  Those of you on Facebook see the posts quickly.  If you aren’t on Facebook, you can enter your email in the box provided at the top of the page on any post and you will receive the posts via email as soon as they are posted.

As I read back over this I feel a sense that the blog is lacking something.  There's so much to say about the month of January - about the past year (it will be one year since Valerie found the lump on 2/18) - about the ending of family being close by - about resuming some sense of a normal life.  It's so hard to encapsulate it in a blog.  I had a difficult time infusing the emotion this time around.  Just know that it comes from blood, sweat and tears... even if I didn't articulate the tears and emotion quite as well.


Thank you all so much for your continued support and love.  We feel it and appreciate it daily. xoxo

CHRISTMAS & THE NEW YEAR

Valerie stylin' on Christmas morning. :)

WOW! - It's been over a month since I've posted.  Valerie and I have thought about you all and TALKED about posting quite a lot (no kidding).  I'm going to break up the last month in at least 2 different blogs.

To pick up where we left off.... my parents left on 12/17 and Valerie's mom returned on 12/18.  Christmas (or Christmahanukwanzukah as we say in our house) came soon after and we decided low key was the best plan.  To start the day, Valerie and I headed off on our bikes for brunch.  Valerie embraced the low key, relaxed idea so much, she wore her PJs - no kidding - and her awesome new boots that I got her for Christmas.  Then we went back and picked up Mom Paget (and some of us finished dressing).  The 3 of us saw a couple of movies, ate some chinese food, and looked at EXTRAVAGANT Christmas lights that weekend.  It was very fun and relaxing.  (I've put extra pictures of the lights down below if you're interested.)

A row of houses lit up along the canal. (more pics below)

New Year's was a little chaotic.  One of my cousins died suddenly (he was only in his mid 40s) and I flew to Nashville for the funeral.  I left EARLY Friday morning, arriving at the funeral home that night in time for the visitation.  Then I went to the funeral the following morning and afterwards I got to spend some time with family that I hadn't seen in quite awhile - crappy circumstances, but I had some wonderful moments with my family.  A special thank you to my mom and dad who paid for half of my ticket - you can imagine the cost of a last minute plane ticket on New Year's Eve weekend.

RIP Barry

 Valerie and her mom had planned a New Year's night out at a local restaurant by the water with fireworks afterward at 9pm (hey, it's midnight in New York by then!).  :)  Their evening was pretty "interesting" to say the least.  They got to the restaurant - got their appetizers right away - then sat - and waited - and sat - and waited.  After about an hour of that, with no more food being brought to their table - or anyone's table - they got up and left.  Plus, it was almost 9pm and they wanted to see the fireworks........ except, there was one small problem with that plan.  Fog.  They saw the clouds/fog light up with different colors, but they never saw an actual bursting firework.  :-/  They did laugh a lot while retelling the story though.  Definitely made some memories.

I flew home from Nashville EARLY Sunday morning, just in time to be picked up and whisked away to our pre-planned birthday brunch for Valerie's mom, at.... you guessed it... the Queen Mary.  As always, it was fantastic, the food was delicious, and we had a great time.  They sang happy birthday to Mom Paget from a center stage right before we left - a perfect ending to the brunch and a perfect beginning to the New Year.

Mom Paget's 80th Birthday Celebration

About the middle of December, Valerie and I both started going to Physical Therapy (PT) twice a week - she for all of the stiffness and pain from being bed ridden in the summer, plus having dislocated her knee last year (2010) and never regaining that strength back - and me for a pain I've had in my hamstring up through my hip/glute area.  We've been going twice a week and are still doing that, with much improvements.

Just as a side note, but for you to understand more of our hassles, when Valerie was first diagnosed, we had to switch our medical group from Pasadena to Long Beach (we hadn't changed it since we moved several months before).  With the diagnosis, we wanted to be particular about the doctors and hospital we chose.  We chose Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach (30 minutes south of us), instead of the 2 hospitals that are minutes away from our home right here in Long Beach.  Hoag has a wonderful reputation, especially for treatment of women and treatment of cancer.  I say that to explain that, now, all of our referrals and doctors are 30-45 minutes away from us, including PT.  And for reference, my job is 25 minutes north (opposite the doctors) and Valerie's work is an hour north.  So, scheduling any appointment takes a flow chart, some luck, and patience.  Having said that, I know how lucky we are to have the choice to go to Hoag and their affiliated doctors.

I will pick up with the first week in January in the next blog.  It's hard to keep things straight after such a long time... SO MUCH happens in one short month!

Continued love and gratitude from us to all of you - whether you read the blog, check in on us every now and then, send love long distance, or just having a passing positive thought about us and Valerie's continued improving health.

DECEMBER 2011

Bill, Valerie, Tracie & Dianne at the
Queen Mary Sunday Brunch

So, I've let 3 weeks go by this time.... where to begin.

My mom and dad were here from 11/19 - 12/17.  Some of the projects they helped us with (read "that they did on their own for us") were: putting the finishing touches on our main bathroom - painting and hanging the doors in front of the washer & dryer, painting the bathroom a new color since our paint didn't match after the tile guy tiled our shower (sorry Vanessa!) / patching holes in the garage walls, allowing us to organize and move everything to a point of ALMOST parking in there!! / making tie backs for our curtains / putting a coat of polyurethane on our pullout drawers in the kitchen (they were raw wood and had never been painted or protected) / painting the kitchen (the last room to need paint!!) / cleaning all the windows inside and out / and for Christmas, they bought and hung blinds for our kitchen and 2 bedroom windows (no more paper window shades!).  We are THAT MUCH closer to having an actual HOME!!  Thanks Mom and Dad!!

Dianne and Bill - Happy Birthday Mom!

I should note that while different people have pitched in and done different things, it's all been such a team effort.  For example, when my dad painted and then hung the doors in front of the washer & dryer, he made a point of saying how impressed he was with Jon (Valerie's brother) for getting the doors to hang correctly.  Did I mention that nothing in our place is square or level?  Another project that has been ongoing for the past year that most everyone that has come to visit has participated in is our garage.  From July 2010 to July 2011, it was PACKED from front to back / floor to ceiling with boxes.  The plan had been to slowly unpack as we finished remodeling each room.  Well when the remodel had to come to a screeching halt, so did the unpacking and the dream that we may ever be able to park a car in the garage.  We live in a VERY parking impacted area and it can be quite challenging to find a parking place at certain times, so having even ONE parking space guaranteed will be SO nice.

Apparently adjusting the cords in blinds can be quite
perplexing - LOVE the looks on their faces. 

While my mom and dad were here, my mom celebrated a birthday and we took her to the Sunday Brunch on the Queen Mary.  The food is fantastic and there were holiday carolers who caroled AND sang Happy Birthday.

Another thing that has taken up quite a lot of our time over the past month has been our Home Owner's

Our ALMOST empty garage!!

Association.  We joined our HOA Board last December and had done a lot of work getting things on track for our HOA.

When Valerie was diagnosed and got really sick, we stopped participating on Board matters.  Well, since Valerie has been on such a great upswing, we entered back into that arena with full force.  Now we are realizing that wasn't the most intelligent thing to do.  One of things Valerie's doctors have impressed upon her is that to get well, to heal, she HAS to decrease her stress level.  We figured that life brings enough stress that we shouldn't go out volunteering to take on more.  So we have officially resigned from our HOA board.

Colette returned the day after my mom and
dad left - already in the Christmas spirit! 

All medical appointments have been going well.  Each time Valerie's blood is drawn they measure a "tumor marker" and it has consistently gone down since she started treatment.  She has been under a great deal of stress in the past week or so and literally can tell that the tumor grows and gets worse during those times.  So, along with resigning from our HOA Board, we are doing everything possible to decrease her stress and increase her health.  Right now, that means continuing to focus on making our home a comfortable, healing place.  With the work that our family has done towards that, we feel even more motivated to continue and complete what's been started!!  Thank you all for what you've done!!

Proud mama, Johanna, with her new twin boys,
Evan and Brayden.

And a continued thank you to all those that ask about Valerie, that give us hugs, that have sent and continue to send money for our trips to Mexico.  All of your love, support, and encouragement means a WHOLE lot to both of us.  The most recent gift was from a friend that I mentioned awhile back who asked her friends to donate money, in lieu of birthday gifts for her, towards Valerie's treatment.  Thank you Shelan!

And last, but certainly not least... CONGRATULATIONS to Johanna and James on the birth of their twin boys, Evan and Brayden.  We are both so happy for you and can't wait to meet them!!

CHANGING OF THE GUARD / THANKSGIVING / AND MORE FUN ADVENTURES

Mary, Jon and Mom P.

These blogs are getting harder to write... but that's a good thing.  Because now I just feel like I'm basically writing about normal life.  I'll hit the high points - medical news and who is currently here visiting and what they are doing.

Valerie's brother, Jon, and his daughter, Mary flew home on Tuesday the 15th.  Valerie's mom, Colette, left on Saturday the 19th before dawn and my mom and dad, Bill & Dianne, flew in about 14 hours later.  They will be here until December 17th.

Everyone has continued to pitch in and help with as much as they are able... whether it be taking out the trash, painting rooms, or hanging new doors in our bathroom.

While Jon was here, the biggest and most difficult project he did was get 2 bi-fold doors to fit and hang in the space to close in our washer/dryer.  He thought the project would take him a couple of hours, but it wasn't until 6-8 hours later they were up.... and PERFECT!  The time delay was not his fault.  He expected to tweak things here and there to get them up, but NOTHING in our house is square, level or otherwise as you'd expect.  He beat... well, sanded.... those doors into submission!  We can't be happier to be that much closer to having those finished.

Jon working on some frustrating closet doors

My mom and dad have been cleaning, painting the bathroom, and other odds and ends -- although we gave them time off for the 4 day holiday weekend.  :)  It's amazing how much there is to do in one little condo.  (pics of them to come later)

A dear friend of ours, Debbie, had offered to bring food to the house.  That offer turned into her and her husband, Bob, treating Valerie, me, and my mom and dad to brunch in Long Beach.  We had a great time!  Thanks Deb and Bob - it really was a treat!!

Thanksgiving was a relaxed, low-key affair.  We went to Whole Foods in the morning and packed up what we each wanted from their prepared food section then went back home to eat and watch football all day.  YUM!

As for medical news.... We had a phone consult last week with Dr. Ceceña at The Oasis of Hope.  He did our initial phone consult before our first visit and to prepare for this call, he had reviewed Valerie's most recent CT scan.  

Some play time at the beach - Mary & Jon.

If you remember, on our first visit there, we were told that their standard treatment would include 3 separate trips to The Oasis separated by 4 weeks at home in between each trip.  Well, we've done 2 trips there and we've now been home 7 weeks since the last week..... so we were kind of expecting him to say "pack up and get here."  Well, what he said was, after they reviewed Valerie's case in their weekly treatment team meeting, they recommend that she return for a one week "booster" session at our convenience.  They feel like she is doing so well that she can benefit from continued treatment, but there is no sense of urgency or fear.  YEA!!  So, we will make plans to return for a week sometime after the first of the year and Valerie will continue to adhere to the daily supplement regimen they prescribe.

the brunch crew - Bob, Deb, Tracie, Valerie, Dianne & Bill

Immediate future plans include: getting our place in some type of order to host 10-40 people at our annual HOA meeting this Sunday; continue to work on our place and make it a complete, healing, peaceful place; Valerie will continue her monthly IV treatments at her oncologist's office of Zometa; and we are determined to have some relaxing, fun time in the near future too!!

oh - this last picture probably needs some explaining... I grew up in TN until junior high, then we moved to KY.  Well, TN and KY played football last Saturday and my mom and dad brought me this TN jacket.  I love orange and TN sports.  After beating KY for 26 years in a row, we decided to let them have one this year.... so next time. :)

Love to you all!

MORE GOOD NEWS

The Huntington Beach sky driving to the doctor's office.

Friday, November 4th, Valerie had another CT scan done to compare to those done in July and in March to see if the cancer is showing signs of retreat or signs of more aggression.  This past Friday, November 11 (yes, 11/11/11), Valerie had a routine (monthly) appointment with her oncologist, Dr. Chen, and he, and his Physician's Assistant, Jennifer (who we have MUCH more contact with) were VERY happy about her progress.  They are typically pretty conservative about their prognosis, etc.  This past Friday, they both came in smiling.  Valerie had previously had a biopsy on a lymph node that tested positive for cancer - it is now GONE.  Her tumor markers (tested through blood) are decreasing at a significant rate.  The main breast tumor, by physical exam, is much smaller.  ALL looks good!!

Mary and Valerie returning from a bike ride
right AFTER a 60 second downpour.

Valerie's oncologist was so happy that the femara and zometa are working so well.  (read this with a healthy amount of sarcasm from me)  The femara is a hormone blocker (pill form) recommended both by Dr. Chen and by Dr. Carbajal, in Mexico.  The zometa is an IV treatment to strengthen the bones and fight against the cancer in Valerie's spine, again recommended by both doctors.  Dr. Chen is only able to recognize the effectiveness of HIS prescriptions.  Even though Valerie has foregone 90% of his treatment recommendations.  We KNOW that Valerie is doing so well because of her treatment in Mexico, including the 2 treatments that coincide with Dr. Chen's recommendations.  Thank you again to everyone that has made the Mexico treatment possible.  We truly believe that it has made the most significant difference and has potentially saved Valerie's life.

Mary and Valerie putting together a puzzle.

Nevertheless, the BIG news here is that the scans are positive and the cancer is definitely retreating, and not growing.  Valerie is stronger every day.  They didn't do any scans or tests that actually measure the state of the original breast tumor.  After we asked about that, the oncologist ordered an ultrasound to see if it is smaller (like we already know it is).  So that will be happening this week also.

We are sending these scans and tests to Mexico and will have a phone consultation with them to determine if we will be going back there for another round of treatment.

Valerie's brother, Jon, came back last Wednesday (11/9).  This time with his youngest daughter, Mary (age 10).  He has been working the past few days on completing some more home projects.  (pictures to come later).

In the meantime, Mary has kept Valerie busy coloring, playing cards, putting together puzzles, going on bike rides, etc.

Mary and Valerie with the puzzle COMPLETE!!

Over the past week, Valerie has gone to work, done projects around the house, done all of those activities with Mary, managed the to do list at home, and overall functioned much like she did before February, 2011.

She does still get tired and need consideration and space to heal.  Her body is still working very hard to get and stay healthy.  So, we will continue to remember to give her that space and let her body heal itself, while enjoying her recovered abilities to participate in "normal" life again.  It's been a good week.

VALERIE BALBOA

VALERIE BALBOA!

Okay, so SUNDAY!!  Sorry to leave you hanging.  I've hyped it up quite a bit.  It was just a very special day.

We started out sleeping late and then just putzing around the house.  Around 11am, Valerie suggested we go for a bike ride and maybe get something to eat.  So, we set off on our bikes and ended up at one of our favorite breakfast/brunch places - Ambrosia.  I should mention that it was a glorious California fall day - sunny and mid 70s most of the day.  :)

Ambrosia

While we were eating brunch (with our mimosas and coffee with irish cream) we made a deal to take a break from all of the worries of house stuff for awhile and to just talk about other things.  That led us to talk a little bit about the past few months - how many activities Valerie is now doing that we both wondered if she'd ever do again - how hard it was for her to be so incapacitated for so long - how hard it was for me to see and hear her be in such pain for so long.  Let's just say, tears were shed, tender kisses were shared, and it was a great beginning to a great day.

The Naples Fountain right in the middle of
the smaller "island in the island."

Something you should know about Valerie... when she gets set on something, don't get in her way, she will see it through

to the end.  That apparently applies to not talking about "work/house" stuff for awhile because she was off and running!  She said, "Why don't we just bike down to the water for a minute."  And where we live, that's totally possible.  We can bike down and back up to the house in 15 minutes.  But you get where I'm going right?  15 minutes turned into about 7 hours or so. :)

The island of Naples and the smaller "island within
the island" towards the bottom of the big island.

Once she got her feet in the sand and walked up and down the beach - her Valerie Balboa moment - there was no stopping her.  Walking on the beach is something that has always been one of Valerie's favorite things of all time.... and it was something that we both wondered if


she'd ever do again.

After walking along the beach and sitting for awhile, Valerie suggested we go explore the canals around Naples (an little island in Long Beach).  We had a short conversation about whether or not she was pushing herself too hard but concluded we could stop and rest or turn around any time we wanted. So off we went to the canals!

One of the MANY canal pictures I took.  We saw people
paddleboarding (like in this pic), boating, in gondolas,
swimming, and ridding paddle boats.

You can see in the map/picture the island of Naples.  There's also a smaller island within the island towards the bottom of the bigger island.  That's where we biked around.  The houses were
absolutely AMAZING!  Just spectacular patios and large windows looking out onto the canal.  We biked around half of the smaller island and then decided we were hungary again, so we headed to 2nd street - known for it's restaurants and shopping.

La Palapa - this is their newly remodeled patio.  With
towers of fire and cabanas.

We ended up at K. C. Branaghan's - an Irish pub - during the last 5 minutes of the afternoon NFL games.  So we caught the end of a few games and ate a delicious veggie burger (for Valerie)

and traditional boxty (for me).  The boxty was basically a potato crepe with veggies inside.  We both thought our food was DELICIOUS.

After our lunch, we headed back to round out the rest of the inner canal.  We made it all the way around and enjoyed every minute of it.  The canals, the houses, the boats.... were all beautiful.  Oh, and did I mention, we hadn't talked about the remodeling, or work, or anything mildly related!

Our bike home - you can't tell, but the sky is
orange and red behind us.

After finishing off the canals, we headed back to the bike path home.  We found this place on the beach sometime last year - it's called La Palapa - and we agreed to stop there for dessert on our way home.  La Palapa basically means "simple thatched roof dwelling."  This restaurant does have a thatched roof and it's right on the beach.  They have blankets piled up by the hostess for those sitting on the patio that need a little extra warmth.  There's live music and several older couples who usually dance.  We LOVE it.

Biking toward our lovely downtown Long Beach.  It
makes a gorgeous sunset.

Then we biked the rest of the way home.  We saw the most gorgeous sky and sunset.  We fell in love with our city all over again.

When we first moved here (July 2010) we would often say how much we loved our choice of city to live in and how we know we made the right decision.  After months of nothing but incapacitation, doctor's visits, being cooped up in this house, and hospital stays, it was so nice to be back out enjoying our city again.  Something we both wondered if we'd ever be able to do again.

We got home and putzed around a bit and fell asleep soon after.  It was the most wonderful, satisfying day after a long trudge through a dessert that seemed to be becoming our new reality.  It was a wonderful day. :)

Now on to the rest of this week...

MONDAY:  Valerie had to go to Quest to have her labs drawn, because apparently, the home health company discharged her on October 9th.  They just don't find it particularly necessary to inform the patient they are being discharged.   Then we went to our primary care doctor (the doctor we went to see on 7/20 because Valerie had been in so much pain for so long - only to hear that "everything is fine" and "your pain isn't related to your cancer" - and then to have Valerie hospitalized on an emergency basis 2 days later .... because the cancer WAS in her back/spine).  Anyway, we went to see her to get a referral for physical therapy.  She readily referred Valerie to physical therapy and there was no discussion of her drastic misdiagnosis of the last visit.

Valerie racking up the winnings at Looffs. 

Valerie then came home and slept - a little tired from the day before. :)  In the afternoon, after checking the mail, we realized we'd received the long awaited check from Valerie's aunt Georgia's estate.  It somehow seems tacky to say how much it is, but suffice it to say, it is a significant amount of money that will make our financial life much more manageable.  In honor of her Aunt Georgia, Valerie wanted to deposit the check and then go to the nearest casino.  Apparently her Aunt Georgia loved to gamble and Valerie wanted to do something to honor her.  We ended up at this pinball/bingo place called Looffs.  It was fun and while we didn't double our money or anything, I think Aunt Georgia would have liked it.

TUESDAY:  I got home from work and found that Valerie had spent all day moving things between the attic, the house, and the garage, getting things more organized.  We ate steamed veggies and watched a movie with her mom that night.

The shower we've lived with for
the past year.

WEDNESDAY:  Valerie dealt with the tile guy who tiled in our shower while we were in Mexico. He came back to finish up a few things.  And she continued to take care of things around the house  Kind of a normalish (normal from MONTHS ago) day.

THURSDAY:  I called Valerie in the middle of the day to ask something and found out she was up in Pasadena running errands - at the Habitat for Humanity store, at the Container Store, and who knows where else.  I beat her home that day.  She got home after 6 - I made us some veggie burgers that we inhaled - then we had an HOA meeting from 7-10.  That meeting was probably the most exhausting part of the day. :-/

FRIDAY:  Today, Valerie's follow up CT scan is scheduled for this afternoon.  We are trying not to be too nervous about it, but it sure will be great to have a doctor call us and tell us that the scan is consistent with everything else and shows that she's doing FANTASTIC!!

This is our new gorgeous shower/bath!

The balance to reach now is 1) knowing that Valerie is so much stronger and able to do things while 2) she still has a life threatening illness and she needs to rest and let her body continue to heal.  A lot of us see her doing well and our expectations and attitudes change and we start treating her like "normal" - but she still needs care, consideration, and room to heal.  (this is a thought directed at me as much as anyone)

I know that things are only going to continue to get better and better.  Thank you all for taking the ride with us and for being there when we need a pit stop along the way.  Your support and love continues to be the air in our tires and the breeze at our backs.  ("wind beneath our wings" was already taken)  We love and appreciate you all.