OASIS - PART DEUX - DAY 5

Beautiful sky tonight

This was officially Valerie's last full day of treatment.  She had 5 IVs and supplements.  The IVs wipe her out a bit and she slept for awhile this afternoon.  But it's still such a different experience this time - she just breezes through the IVs.  There's no worry about the IV feeling uncomfortable because she has the new port.  There's no  worry about the needle in her arm hurting.  They just come in and hook up the IV, come back when it's done, hook up another one, and so on.  It's great!!

In case anyone was wondering... Yes, cool
mac daddy bagger with his shades on at
night is still around. :)

Starting tomorrow, she'll jut have supplements and one IV for the next week.  We will probably make a run to the Whole Foods in San Diego tomorrow to get some needed groceries.  It's made a big difference this time bringing things we know that Valerie will eat and drink.  Luckily the Whole Foods is just about a half hour drive from here.

Then, starting Sunday, we may take short drives to see some sights while we are here.  We will have a semi vacation each day.

We'll keep you posted!

OASIS - PART DEUX - DAY 4

A welcome back hug from Dr. Contreras

Today was similar to yesterday - class with Dr. Barroso (this is the correct spelling) and IVs all day.  The classes are extremely informative.  Valerie's mother will be pleased to know that we've learned that Valerie is a virgin.... to chemo that is. :)  The statistics for people that get treatment here before getting any treatment in the states (chemo, radiation or surgery) are SO much better than those who have tried conventional medicine first.  I've mentioned it before, but it's worth another mention.  I think the states 5 year survival rate for stage IV breast cancer is about 18% and here - for people that come here within 6 months of diagnosis (which we did) and who have not had conventional treatment (which she has not) - the 5 year survival rate is 75%.  You can't really argue with those numbers.

El Jefe

Dr. Contreras came by today to check in and see how Valerie is doing.  He was very pleased to see how well she is looking and feeling.  He is always very encouraging and supportive..... and rather handsome too.

One of Valerie's new nurses - Pedro

We received a very generous and surprising gift today.  A friend of mine turns 41 tomorrow and unbeknownst to me, she had sent an email to her friends and family stating how lucky and fortunate she is and that she wants for nothing on this birthday - so she asked her friends and family to donate to Valerie's care in lieu of buying her a gift, a drink, dinner, etc.  It was a very moving, and generous letter.  Thank you Shelan - so much.

I am frequently overcome by other's generosity.  I know people have posted requests, asked other people, advocated for us - - done so many things on our behalf.  I wish I could adequately express our deep thanks and gratitude.  Please know that we are constantly in awe of your gifts, thoughts, prayers, emails, jokes, and love.  We are very lucky indeed.

OASIS - PART DEUX - DAY 3

Sweet Luis is still here - and he doesn't announce the
blood pressure quite as loudly as he did last time. :)

Today was filled with IVs and class.  Valerie had 7 treatments today and attended an hour and a half class.... well most of it.  They pulled her out for one of her treatments, so I took notes while she was gone.

It's funny - we were here 15 days last time and no one ever said anything about making sure she receives her IVs in a certain order.  Well today, she did an IV and a half - we were sitting in class (while one of the IVs ran) - and people started to seem upset.  Her nurse and the guy that does the blood ozone (Tomas) seemed unhappy with us for some reason.  The nurse came in and took the IV out of Valerie's arm whispering loudly at me "I thought you said she was ready."

I should explain ---  This hospital is unlike any other.  They don't wake you at all hours of the night just to make sure your temp, pulse and BP is normal.  They let you sleep a full night and they don't start your IVs the next morning until you tell them you're ready.  So this morning, we got up at about 8:30am, took showers, ate breakfast and I went down to the nurses station at about 10am and said "Valerie's ready."  BOOM!  They start her IVs.... well boom is a little over stated.... what I really mean is, they eventually get around to starting her IVs.  We are in Mexico after all - as Tomas said, "Mexico is freedom."  He was talking about their loose association with time. :)

The nurse who was momentarily upset - the rest of the day was
fine and she left blowing kisses saying she'd see us tomorrow.

So, apparently when I said "Valerie is ready" that meant to the nurse that Valerie had already seen Tomas for the ozone treatment.  Because the ozone treatment is always first.  WHAT?!  We were here for 15 days last time and NO ONE EVER said that.  I'm going to go back and look at my notes - because I write down every treatment Valerie gets and when she gets them - to see if she always got the ozone first.  I'm about 99% sure she did NOT.

Tomas has been gesturing to Valerie through the glass door where our class is and Valerie is gesturing to her IV (she can't do both at one time).  He takes off down the hall to the nurses station - the nurse comes in where the class is and starts taking out the IV while whispering accusingly "I thought you said Valerie was ready!"

Needless to say, we learned a few things today.  :)

The exciting news of the day is that Valerie did all of her treatments and all of her supplements (except the dinner ones).  She hasn't been nauseous but this is the second time that her pulse has increased and she's gotten hot and needed the air on.  So, she ate ravenously but did not take her dinner supplements.

Valerie commented today how odd it is that she can't even feel the IVs going in - because of her new portacath. Before, when it went into her arm, it was a constant issue to make sure it felt okay, it was still working, it wasn't bruising or blowing a vein.  Now it's just hook it up and go.  No worries - no discomfort - nothing but good stuff getting into her body.

More of that tomorrow :)

OASIS - PART DEUX - DAY 2

If we have to hurry up and wait, at least we have a
recliner this time.

Today was a lot of hurry up and wait.  There was some confusion about the treatment that Valerie was supposed to receive, so we were told to wait for the doctor.  We did that until about 2:00pm.

To break up the waiting, we went to a class from about 11am - 12:30pm.  The classes are very informative.  Last time we only went to one in 15 days because Valerie was not feeling well at all.  We will probably go most days now.  During the rest of the time Valerie read and I brought a bag of "to do" stuff to go through that I worked on.

Class with Dr. Barroso

When the doctor finally came to meet with us, we asked him a lot of questions, which he answered patiently.  Then he explained that because they modified Valerie's treatment last time to include the IPT (metronomic chemo) that he recommends we stay for 12 days again.  12 DAYS!  We packed and planned for 6 days!  That protocol is usually for 20 days straight (and why they didn't ask us to stay for 20 days before - we don't know) - so since Valerie did 12 then, they want her to do 12 more.  So we're working out how to stay for 6 extra days.  We've been watching a lot of heist movies lately, maybe they'll come in handy.  :)

It was about 3:30pm when they finally got around to starting Valerie's treatment for the day.  She had the blood ozone therapy and Tomas, who she always asked for when they had to put in a new needle last time, cleaned her new portacath and put the needle in there.  It was a little anxiety provoking because it's different and new, but it went without a hitch.  All of her IVs will be able to go through there and they may not even have to change the needle while she's here.  SO much better than last time.

Valerie showing off her new portacath

After the blood ozonation, Valerie had 2 vitamin C IVs, Perftec, and Kemdalin.  (refer to their website or to the earlier Oasis posts for more information about the treatments)  She just finished her last treatment at about 9:30pm. They certainly move at a different pace down here, but you won't hear me complaining when I sleep until 8am without the nurses waking Valerie up to make sure she's still breathing. :)

So today there were 5 treatments plus her supplements - ALL done.  Tomorrow there will be 6 treatments and supplements... stay tuned for more good news.

love to you all!

OASIS - PART DEUX

Let the healing continue. :)  It's only lemonade.

Sunday was filled with packing and planning for Mexico.  Valerie's mom made several trips over to feed us and Valerie's sister, Michelle, made sure we got a proper battery for the car and a car wash.  (For those of you tuned in for our last Oasis trip - the same dinky battery was still in the car.)  I'm not sure I would have even been able to see out of the windows - the car was SO dirty.  We left at about 6:30 p.m. last night and drove to a hotel just across the border.

This morning we woke up and - after texting Michelle with some last minute tile problems - we headed across the border.  (Michelle and Mom P. are managing the installation of tile in our shower while we are gone.  It's one of the last big projects we need to get done to have a habitable home.  We've had the tile sitting in our garage for months but haven't had it put in - for obvious reasons.)

Even just the drive across the border was tremendously different than the last trip.  When we first came to the Oasis, Valerie was curled up in the passenger seat, in pain, and barely aware of what was going on.  This time, she was alert, helping me read directions, and talking about how out of it she was last time.

Less than 2 hours here and she's up and walking.

We arrived at the Oasis about 15 minutes later and again the differences were startling.  Last time, I parked at the curb and they brought out a wheelchair and gingerly pushed her in.  This time, I parked and she walked in, assisted only with the walker.

We got to our room - 304, right next to our old room, 303.  It's pretty much a reverse copy of the old room - the only difference is that I requested a lazy boy this time and we got one.  Valerie was pretty bed bound last time, but this time, she's already laid in both beds and the lazy boy.

After they did an initial blood draw and we were welcomed by our old friend Dorian, we went for a walk to the beach.  It's about 2 blocks away but we didn't find a very smooth path.  The sidewalks we used were pretty rough and pushing a walker makes you feel every bump and crack.  But Valerie made it to the Arches (I posted a few pictures of those last time) and we sat and had tacos in a small restaurant overlooking the Pacific.  DID I MENTION THE DIFFERENCE IN THIS TRIP?!  :)

We walked back and Valerie took a long, well-deserved nap.  When she woke up a little hungry, I went to get a plate from the dining room.  What they were serving was not very appetizing to her, but luckily we came prepared.  I made her a hummus sandwich and she took all of her supplements that they had already made up for her.

I posted a couple of pictures of the bull ring last time.
Taking them was more fun this time.

She will begin a full day of IVs tomorrow.  She's a little nervous about using the port for the first time.  It's still bandaged up and we haven't even really seen it yet.  She's also very excited at the prospect of just getting stuck once for ALL of her IVs this week.  woo hoo!!

It was nice coming back and being greeted like old friends.  Everyone has been telling Valerie how great she looks and how nice it is to see her again.  So many things are so much better.  It's going to be a good week.

I'M STRESSING OVER THE TITLE - SO THIS IS IT :)

Melissa's birthday celebration!

Since I last posted on Tuesday a few things have happened.  I'll begin with Wednesday.  It was a mostly good day.  Valerie had some nausea and reflux burning in her esophagus.  However, unlike past times... she ate 3 meals and took all of her supplements.  And those supplements are what the doctors say will make the cancer in her bones go away and will keep her healthy.

During the day, Sara took the car to get new tires.  It had been driving really weird - shaking and shimmying on the freeway.  It does NOT do that anymore!!  I was worried about driving to Mexico with a car that felt like mexican jumping beans under the hood.  Thank you Sara!

Sara saying goodbye

Wednesday night we ordered in from the pizza place and had a semi birthday celebration for Melissa.  Melissa's birthday is Monday but Valerie and her mom threw together what was left of the banana bread and a bunch of matches shoved in as candles for a birthday cake.  Valerie had really wanted to go out because it was her sister Sara's last night here (she left EARLY the next morning).  Valerie had tried to do as much as she could to spend time with Sara and make her time here enjoyable, but she was SO wiped out by Wednesday night (from going to the DMV, working all day, going up to her work in North Hollywood, going to the movies, etc.) that she couldn't go out.  Take out was delicious and I think it was just as enjoyable.  (But you'll see from the pictures that Sara was dressed and ready to go out.)

Sara's last night here

Thursday was a full day starting with Melissa's workout and a blood draw from the home health nurse.  Valerie again ate 3 meals and took all of her supplements.  Valerie's mom joked that Valerie had fired her personal chef because Valerie actually fended for herself for lunch.  I came home to meet a tile guy about tiling in our shower (one of the last BIG things that needs to be done).  We've had plastic nailed up all around so that we can use it, but it's not a completed shower yet.  The guy is going to come next week while we are in Mexico to tile in our shower.  WOO HOO!!!  I don't think people realize how aesthetics impact their emotional well being.  (and I realize how privileged I am to talk about the impact of aesthetics)

Dr. Peck - he put the central line in
He REALLY reminded me of Alex P. Keaton's
father from Family Ties

During one of Valerie's trips to the doctor that involved getting stuck for an IV, she had started wondering if a central line would be a better option than getting stuck so many times in Mexico and then here for treatment too.  After calling her brother and talking to the oncologist, we were actually able to schedule it for Friday afternoon.  It's considered minor surgery, so it would end up taking 5-6 hours.  For those that don't know (and we didn't until a day or two ago), the central line that she got (a port-a-cath) is implanted up by your collar bone and it feeds right in to one of your 4 main veins.  There's a port right under her skin now.  What that means practically, is that next week in Mexico, they will stick her once in the port and ALL of her blood draws and IVs will do directly in there.  She will not have to be stuck every day or so in the arm.  ALL of it can go right into the central line.  And because it feeds right into a LARGE vein, she will hardly feel any of it.  You can see how excited she is about this from the video.  :)

Friday, Valerie ate an early breakfast of boiled eggs and toast (her regular lately) and then she was unable to eat or drink the rest of the day in anticipation of her surgery.  I left for work.  A particularly good day for me.  A kid that I have been working with for the past 4 years whom we have always thought was innocent of his charges, was let go and his charges dismissed.  Talk about better late than never.  This guy came into the juvenile justice system as a kid and left as a young man.  It was good to be there on they day he FINALLY received justice.

Melissa saying goodbye

I got back in time to take Valerie to the hospital for her surgery.  There was a long waiting period before and after, but other than that, it went VERY smoothly and successfully.  Once we were home, she ate a HUGE salad, visited with her family and went to bed.

Today (Saturday), she has had some tenderness where the port is.  She put ice on it several times today and she rested most of the day.  This morning, she spent some time with her niece Melissa, who flew home today.  Then later this afternoon, her sister, Michelle, read to her for awhile and then they walked to the beach and back.  She looks and feels good.  She's more relaxed about going to Mexico now that she has the port in and we'll be driving to the border tomorrow.

More from Mexico...

STILL PLUGGING AWAY

Melissa and Valerie watching a movie

Things continue to move along with small improvements here and there - and some big improvements.  With all that has been going on, it's sometimes hard to really appreciate some things that happen and improve, because there's always something right behind it to focus on.  But I think it's important to point out that Valerie's nausea has been MUCH less frequent and intense and her desire to eat has almost entered back into the enjoyable range and definitely out of the "daily chore" range.  Those are 2 really huge improvements that are helping her get stronger.  She's eating well and not fighting nausea very much at all recently.

Her daily, or almost daily workouts with Melissa continue.  Melissa, Valerie and Sara went swimming again this Sunday.  Valerie has always loved the water, and even though she was pooped after 2 days of back to back IVs, she went and had a great time.  She actually SWAM.  I make this point, because she's been going to a pool for months since she hurt her back, but the best she could do was walk around and use those floaty noodles to support her while she did a semi tread water move.  This past Sunday she actually SWAM - and I hear there were even some races!

Valerie and Sara at the pool

Monday, Valerie spent almost all day working.  For those that don't know, she's a self employed Clinical Social Worker.  Since we moved to Long Beach, she still had one contract left up in North Hollywood.  She can do a lot of the work at home, but given the past few months, she had gotten quite behind.  So, she got set up with the laptop, after her workout of course, and spent most ALL day catching up on assessments and reports.  That has been one thing recently that she could only tolerate a very little of at one time because she would get really nauseous.  She said that she had moments of slight nausea but NOTHING compared to before.  She generated about 3/4 of an inch of paperwork to turn in.  A LOT!

Valerie and I visiting Michelle in #12 and
doing our best "I'm-a-gangsta-don't-give-
me-the-flu" posturing.

Today, Tuesday, Valerie had a DMV appointment to get her license renewed.  Sara took her to the appointment while Melissa waited on standby for them to return so that she could drop off Valerie's work in NoHo.  BUT, Valerie and Sara went ahead and drove all the way up there (at least an hour from our place) and back.  AND THEN went to a movie!!

One person we have missed seeing is Michelle.  She is still here, but she's secluded herself over in #12 because she's been VERY sick.  She started out with a cough and just feeling run down and in the last couple of days officially learned that she has the flu.  She's actually already feeling much better today, but since this weekend, she has been scarce - sleeping and resting.  We hope she's up and well SOON!

Valerie still does get tired and worn out from things, but it seems not quite so easily.  The blood transfusion may have just done it's job.  She seems to have more energy, whether it's to be somewhat active or even just to interact with people (which takes a LOT out of a person).

We have made arrangements to be in Mexico next week.  We will likely leave Sunday and drive to the border and then get to the Oasis of Hope on Monday morning.  I will blog daily when we are there to keep you up to date on how her treatment goes there.

Valerie and Melissa on the beach after
swimming.... GORGEOUS!!

I'll keep you posted as we get closer to leaving.
Thank you all for reading and keeping up with us.  We really appreciate the love and support.

If there are things that I'm leaving out or just that you would like to know, don't hesitate to ask.  I'll include it if I'm able.

love from both of us.

GOOD MORNING!

Just a quick note to say that all is still on an upswing here.  I do have stories and pictures and I'll do my best to post them later today.
I know some of you get worried when I'm late "checking in." :)  I appreciate the worry and want you to know that Valerie continues to look and feel stronger with less and less nausea every day.

more later!

BUSY FEW DAYS!

Workouts with Melissa

Thursday began with an early morning blood draw from the home health nurse.  And also with Melissa coming over for her early morning training sessions.  I mean she has been relentless!!! In a GREAT way! :)    I think back to when I was 20 and sleeping as late as possible - staying up as late as possible... well, Melissa is waking her aunt Val up promptly at 8 most every single morning.  It's something that brings a smile to Valerie's face every time.

Then Valerie had to do some work at the computer, which always makes her nauseous.  She started a new medication this morning from the psychiatrist - Klonopin instead of Ativan.  It's supposed to address the anxiety but last much longer instead of wearing off very quickly.  So it may be hard for a few days to see what's causing what.  I went to Valerie's contracted job in North Hollywood (LONG drive from our house) to enter some information in the computer.  I had to be on the phone with her several times to walk me through some things.  She held up remarkably well.  She got me though all of that and then had someone read to her.  That's one thing she's really enjoyed - having someone read to her.  I think Michelle and Mom P. have been her main readers, with Sara pitch hitting once or twice since she arrived.

I THINK they're working out.  :)

Valerie has been eating everyday and taking most, if not all of her supplements.  Things she's enjoyed eating lately (because it's different from day to day) are: raw deserts - especially chocolate and mint things; boiled eggs (I can't remember the last time she ate eggs!); Dianne's banana bread (my mom); spaghetti has lasted quite a while (thanks to Anissa we haven't had to buy more yet); and vegetable soup with no noodles.

Friday was my day off and I took her to an appointment with the oncologist, Dr. Chen.  We met with him about how things are in general.  He asked how she's been doing on the Femara (hormone blocker).  I have hesitated in even bringing it up because, as far as we can tell, she's had NO side effects from it.  We were a little worried..... okay a LOT worried... after the doctor said it would be like menopause on steroids.  But so far, so good.  (I expect everyone to reach out right NOW and knock on some wood!!)

Maricela and Tallis stopped by and it was the 1st time
Valerie could reach out and hold Tallis.  They are going
to be great buds.

At Dr. Chen's office she had her first IV treatment of Zometa.  It's supposed to help lower calcium levels and strengthen her bones due to cancer in the bones.   For those newer to the party - Valerie was hospitalized for a week on an emergency basis back in July due to very high calcium levels, so we are trying to avoid that at all costs.

Funny enough (and not funny ha ha) one of the side effects of the Zometa, and I kid you not, is "can make cancer worse."  ?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!  Such is our medical system I guess.  They have to write every possibility down?!  The physician's assistant, Jennifer, who has been very helpful and responsive over the past few months, said that she was not familiar with that side effect and she'd get back to us.  (I'm still waiting for that phone call.) :)  Then Joaquin stopped by later Friday and talked before doing a healing session.  Those times always bring a LOT of smiles to Valerie's face.

Then Saturday (today) was another packed day.  After talking to Dr. Chen on Friday and learning that her red blood cell count was low... really low... he recommended a blood transfusion.  So today, we spent about 6 hours at the hospital outpatient center doing that.  She ran a bit of a fever during the transfusion, which is not entirely unusual, and she came home and laid down right away.  They said after about 48 hours, she should have more energy and feel better generally.  She has been quite fatigued lately and it doesn't take much exertion at all to tire her out.  Hopefully this will help.

I can't say enough about how wonderful it has been to have her family staying so close by.  Melissa can just wake up and wander over in a minute's time - and she does every morning and sometimes throughout the day. Valerie often, if not every morning, texts her mom and asks for breakfast.  Her mom is SO on top of all of the meds that Valerie should be getting and when.  Michelle has been working (her job) a LOT and isn't feeling well now - possibly running a fever.  But even when she hasn't felt well, she has jumped up to ask if she can fix MY dinner for ME (not just Valerie) - or asks if there's anything she can help with before she leaves - she's a nonstop trouper.  I know that I haven't emptied my own trash or recycling in WEEKS, and I'm not even sure who to thank for that.  Yesterday, Michelle and Mom P ran over to help carry up our groceries and put them away.  I could probably think of countless more things and I know there are so many things I don't even know about.

Our view driving home today from the hospital.
We do LOVE where we live. 

Melissa has also made some horrible drives all over LA to get things, drop off things, etc.  Often with Carmen - who left early this morning to drive back to Denver.  Carmen was always quiet and in the background, but we know that she was doing whatever she could to help Valerie.  We loved getting to see her and I'm sorry that I didn't get a picture before she left.

Sara cleaned our back bathroom, which I could not figure out how to clean thoroughly enough to make it not smell a little funky.... there is now no funky smell.  She has also been working on getting fabric to make sashes to tie back our curtains.  Air flow is a premium around here and the better the curtains are tied back the better our air flow is.  She found 4 different fabrics today that look very promising.  She also made MANY copies of our keys and made sure everyone had a full set to come and go.

We had been worried that people would be cooped up and not able to enjoy our lovely city.  We haven't even been here long enough to explore and appreciate all of its treasures.  Sara and Melissa have been able to take advantage of that the past few days.... yoga on the bluff, kayaking around Naples, biking all over, eating at a lot of cool places.  Hopefully, they will have some great memories of their time here.

Tomorrow may involve swimming again, or just a day of rest to let Valerie's body do its thing.  Either way, there continues to be improvement day after day.  Valerie looks better and better.  She manages hurdles thrown at her better and better.  And she's going to continue to get better and better. :)

Thank you all for your continued thoughts, prayers, messages, cards, and love.  It makes a difference!!

DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS :)

I need to correct 2 items from previous posts.
1) I referred to Maricela and Joaquin's mother as Mrs. Renteria...... she is Ms. Mount.  My apologies.  I try to not make assumptions.... but just like the Museum of Tolerance teaches us... none of us are without prejudice.

and

2)  As I was reading all of the wonderful, supportive comments about the last post to Valerie, she said, "what did you say that made everyone think I'm doing so well?!"  She is doing well by the way.  But after she read the post, she pointed out that I said "she walked to the beach."  That is true, but she walked to the beach with a walker.  She said, "next time they'll expect you to say I'm taking a jog!"  :)

She continues to gain more strength and to make slow progress.  I didn't mean to misrepresent her abilities at this time.  For those that have seen her.... just to walk to the beach with a walker is FAR and above what  she's been able to do and we are thankful.

More tomorrow! love to you all!

ONE MORE DAY TOWARDS HEALTH

Michelle and Valerie "talking" :)

This is probably the longest stretch of what I'd call good days in a LONG time.  Valerie has been determined, upbeat, resolved, and dedicated.  We've had a few "family meetings" to work things out; she's spent an entire day on her own; she's taken off and walked to the beach (farther than she's walked in a LONG time); and she's moved us all to a different place.  We are no longer caregivers.  Valerie has proven than she CAN fend for herself.  We are now supporting her in her journey to strength and health.  While she CAN do a lot of things, she realizes that by letting us do some things for her, she can channel that strength towards being healthy.   We've moved for caregivers to support.

Melissa and her Aunt Val

Sunday, Valerie's younger sister, Sara, arrived.  That afternoon, she, Valerie, Michelle, and Melissa went to Deep Blue - a local swimming pool that uses more natural cleaning techniques than chlorine.  The chemicals are not good for Valerie, so Michelle had researched local salt water pools or people that use minimal chemicals.  Deep Blue has offered to let Valerie swim in "off" times for FREE.  They want to donate this service towards her health and recovery.  Any locals needing swim lessons or scuba classes - check out deepbluelongbeach.com.  Thank you Deep Blue!  Sunday was the first trip to meet the owner and to finally swim - which is one of Valerie's most favorite things to do EVER.  Melisssa and Sara did some supportive/assistive swim exercises with her.  They were there for about an hour and a half.  They all said it was GREAT!  After that, I think we all expected Valerie to be pretty much wiped out and ready to go home.  But NO - she had them go on a mini tour of our lovely Long Beach for Sara.  They had lunch at a local mediterranean place that we've eaten at before and then they drove around getting the "beach" tour. 

Melissa, Valerie & Sara

The nausea and appetite problems haven't gone away but they have been very much improved lately.  Valerie has pushed through and eaten, taken her supplements, and generally done REALLY well.

Tuesday morning, Valerie told me that she didn't want anyone helping her that day.  She wanted a day to herself.  She wanted to have some control over her day and be in charge of her house for the first time in a WHILE.  So, everyone respected her wishes - I went to work and everyone else made sure someone was in calling distance but let her have her space.  And she did everything by herself - bathed, ate, took her supplements, straightened up, etc.  It was a very gratifying day.

We did it!!

Then Wednesday morning (today), we all got together at 7am to regroup.  That's when we had the conversation about moving to supporting her and away from caregiving.  She is a capable, strong woman and needs our support but she also needs to be treated like a capable, strong woman.

So, people were in and out supporting her today and then most of the group went to see the finale taping of America's Got Talent.  I'm sure stories from that will be fun.

Sara & Valerie catching up

Carmen (who I need a picture of) is a family friend and the woman who drove Michelle all night to get here last Sunday night.  She and Melissa have run MANY "errands" to pick up things that people have offered us.  They've driven to my old workplace in East LA to get medication; they've driven to Silverlake to get a papasan chair and a Wii from the Waldinger-Sprafkin family - thank you guys!!  And other stuff that I don't even know about.  Thank you Carmen!!

We got an awesome care package today from my parents - full of food.  There's some spaghetti, raw kale snacks, dark chocolate, homemade granola bars, homemade fudge, and homemade banana bread.  About 15 minutes after opening it, Valerie had eaten a mini loaf of banana bread, a granola bar, and some raw treats.  As she was falling asleep tonight, she said "don't give away any of that banana bread.  that's the most delicious thing I've tasted since I've been sick."  Needless to say, even I won't be eating my mother's banana bread.  :)  Thanks mom and dad!!

It really feels like we're on an upswing.  Things have been going well.  Not perfectly, but really well.  Valerie's gotten into a routine - we have all learned how to best be of help/support - and she's getting stronger.  She sits and stands easier; she moves around easier; she manages everything much easier.

This video is from one of her workout sessions with Melissa.  They are GREAT!!!!

Sweet dreams everyone!

MINI UPDATE

Just a quick update - I'll do a more full one later today.

Valerie's other sister, Sara, arrived on Sunday.  The 2 of them, Michelle, and Melissa had a great afternoon of swimming and driving around with Valerie giving Sara the 10 cent Long Beach tour.  I got worried after about 3 hours... and they returned after about 5 hours - all smiles.

Yesterday was a pretty good day - a little lower energy but nothing to complain about.  Still eating, taking supplements, taking the hormone blocker, exercising, and getting stronger.

I do have more pictures and will post them later today. stay tuned......

MORE UPS THAN DOWNS

Post MRI Celebration - Michelle, Melissa, Mom P,
Carmen & Valerie (the beach lounger is where I'll sit)

The past 3 days have been up and down, but definitely more ups than downs.  And that's pretty much what we are aiming for lately.

Wednesday, when we got the results of the MRI, Michelle and I were both tearfully relieved.  Valerie had an "I already knew it was fine" attitude.  :)  That day was pretty routine and good.  Valerie ate well and took most of her supplements.  She was feeling nauseous much of the day, but ate and took pills despite that.  One of the big pressures (besides keeping the nausea at bay and keeping food and pills down) has been the need to start the hormone blocker (femara).  The doctor in Mexico said that it would feel like "menopause on steroids."  So, she wanted to have one full day of the regular supplements and then start the femara.  She took it a day or two last week but stopped when she was so nauseous.

Mom P finished reading the book and they both conked out

One of the things Valerie has enjoyed is having someone read to her.  I had been doing it the past few months and now her mom and sister, Michelle have been the readers.  Wednesday after a round of reading I walked in to see if they needed anything and this is what I found (pic to the right) ... they were fast asleep.  :)

Thursday, was HOT!!  It got up to 102 or so in Long Beach.  It was actually really hot the past few days.  Valerie ate breakfast and lunch and took all of the supplements that go with those meals and she went to the beach with her mom for about an hour. She was pretty wiped out afterwards and ended up vomiting in the evening.  She vomited right at the beginning of a mini-medication/food support group.  She called me, Michelle, and her mom together at 6pm (WE are the support group) to discuss our approach when we give her the medication and offer her food.  There have been a few rough spots around that.  She appreciates our help and keeping track but she also wants some control and say so.  We talked for awhile and came up with a plan that seems to be working.  Even after all of that, she wanted to have a movie/family night.  So, we ordered from our favorite pizza place, it's called The Pizza Place.  :)  We got a bunch of food and watched a funny movie.  ALL of us crammed into our little living room.  It was cozy and perfect.  Our little post MRI celebration.

Also, since the 5th when we consulted regarding the anti-anxiety medication, Valerie has been on an increased dosage of the Ativan.  That does seem to be making a difference.  Even when she vomits, she bounces back pretty quickly.

The bright side of having your own trainer

These days are also spotted with people coming in and out - like Christine, the nurse who calls at 9pm to say she needs to come for blood in the morning.  That woman is making calls at 9pm and rounds at 7am.  And Ola came this week to do some PT.  He really just talks.... so Valerie had her own idea.

At 7:30am on Friday, I was leaving for work and Valerie said that Melissa was going to come start being her personal trainer.  No sooner had she said it, than Melissa walked through the front door ready to whip Valerie into shape!  They've been working on a routine of working out for about 45-60 minutes before every meal.  Melissa made up a chart and said they are learning a LOT about what contributes to Valerie's nausea, what exercises are hardest for her to do, etc.

Melissa can be such a slave driver! :)

Friday continued with food, supplements, being read to, getting a foot and back massage, and riding the stationary bike.  Then in the evening, I brought home some goodies that I'd gotten from a friend (thank you!).  A marijuana chocolate ball.  Valerie ate half and didn't feel much... she was pretty impatient too.  So, about 20 minutes later she ate the rest.  It was small mind you... but it turned out to be POTENT!  She threw up about a half an hour later, so we thought that was it.

She went on to eat a little soup and take some supplements.  Then she laid down in the lazy boy to relax.  She was tired and not feeling well and Joaquin showed up.  From about 8:30 to 10pm she LAUGHED, and had trouble remembering what we were talking about.... she was HIGH.  She didn't feel nauseous, but she didn't like the way she felt - out of it and not able to really function.  We'll have to find a happy medium.  It is supposed to help SO many things... anxiety, nausea, appetite, pain, you name it.

Valerie visited Melissa's Boutique

Saturday was a full day - 3 workouts with Melissa, a pedicure, 3 good meals, watching a movie here, and taking a little nap.  And Joaquin showed up again tonight (just to make sure she wasn't loopy every night).  :)  They chatted awhile and she went to bed soon after.

She has been taking the hormone blocker the past few days.  And while she has thrown up, she has managed to eat and take many of her supplements.  We are counting the past few days as quite successful.

Sorry for the delay in posting and thank you to those that inquired and prompted me to post.  It's nice to know you are out there.

A special shout out and happy birthday to Tallis!!  May you always have love and family as abundantly as you do now!

Melissa's art work on Valerie's toes

WOO HOO!! GOOD MRI RESULTS!!

Just got a call from the oncologist's office - there is no cancer in Valerie's brain.  WHEW!!  I had no idea how much pent up stress and anticipation I was holding in.

Thank you all for the thoughts/texts/prayers/and all around love and good juju!!

They did say that there is a small (.4 centimeters) spot that they can see - but it's NOT cancer.  Just to cover all the bases they are referring her to a neurosurgeon.  They are not worried about it.  They said it could have been something that's been there forever.  They also said no matter what it is, it is not causing her nausea.  They just want to refer us to someone who is used to looking at brains.  I look forward to posting the "no big deal" post after that appointment.

WHEW!!!

MRI RESULTS TOMORROW

Our lovely Long Beach

Just wanted to let people know that the day went very well, especially given all of the activity.  We will not know the results of the MRI until tomorrow and we know some of you, like us, were anxious for the results.


Valerie went to get the MRI, then she and Michelle went to lunch at one of our favorite places:  Mother's.  YUM!  So they were gone most of the day - only to realize that Melissa had sensibly locked the door behind her when she left this morning - but we had all, insensibly, NOT made copies of the NEW keys that go into our new door knobs and deadbolts.   Thankfully, our neighbor, Alfonso, came up and took the window apart and crawled in through the window.  I say "took apart" because it's one of those windows with glass "slats" that open and close.  He took out the screen and then took out enough of the glass slats that he could crawl through.  Thank you Alfonso!!!  Did I mention that we have great neighbors?!

LOVE the hummingbirds in our courtyard

Valerie has eaten well today, kept it all down, and overall, had a great day.  Even with all of the activity, she has remained in good spirits most of the day.

We had some cleaning/errand running/dust bunny fairies that came through here today.  I think their names are Melissa and Carmen.  All of a sudden, shoes are lined up, there are no dust bunnies running around, and the house is more in order!  whew!  Thank you Melissa and Carmen.

Mom Paget made french toast and egg salad - Valerie has been getting random tastes for things and her mom miraculously whips them up.

Valerie was doted on and cared for today by her sister, Michelle.  She got her through the MRI and even got a lunch out!

All in all a good day.  Here's to good MRI results tomorrow.

HAPPY LABOR DAY

Melissa made homemade bread - YUM!

Where to begin... the bumps in the road have continued the last couple of days.  It's been full of emotion, nausea, and uncertainty.  It seems that when we figure one thing out, another thing gets in the way.  So, we press onward with the help of family and friends..... like you.

The picture to the left is one of Valerie's nieces, Melissa.  She made some homemade bread that might "benefit" me more than Valerie.  It is DELICIOUS.  I put benefit in quotes because I plan to eat too much and I plan to forget to offer some to Valerie.    JUST kidding - kinda!

Melissa and her grandmother have been here over the weekend - offering Valerie and I some quiet time and popping in every now and then to drop off some pancakes (which Valerie has eaten quite a few of), take out the trash, deliver groceries, and just all around make our lives easier.  We continue to be very lucky to have such loving and giving people around to help take care of us both.  I know some people say that "that's just what family does" but I think this family has set the standard for "being there when you're needed."

Beautiful shawl knitted by Aunt Sandy

I have some catch up news and clarifications to make.  Several days ago, Valerie received a package in the mail from her Aunt Sandy.  It is a beautiful, soft, luxurious, hand knitted "prayer shawl."  I kept putting off posting about it because I had hoped to post a picture of Valerie with it.... the picture with her will have to wait, but the thank you can wait no longer.  It is such a lovely gift and Valerie always has a blanket, jacket, something warm close by.  It will soon become a frequent, if not constant, companion of hers.  Thank you Aunt Sandy.

I also received some questions about the bathroom that I posted last time.... No, Jon did not do ALL of it.  And this is not meant to detract from his efforts (more to come) but to give proper credit where it is due.  Jon put in the vanity and toilet - which is what finally made it a usable, REAL bathroom.  Vanessa and Melissa did the painting.  The floor was already in.  And Valerie, Conce (a friend's father), and I did the demo when it was a pepto bismol room.  So, it's been a work in progress for quite some time.

Jon did MANY things - some that are hard to articulate.  Our door threshold was about 3" high and I constantly complained that I kicked it or tripped over it.  Not only did he lower it substantially, he got the threshold, bottom of the door, and screen door all to match so that it is more pleasant to step over and MUCH more pleasant to look at.  He also installed a new screen door - a HUGE improvement to the flimsy one that was there before and falling off it's hinges.  He set up one of our bikes as a stationary bike in the back room soValerie can get some exercise without having to go anywhere.  He put the molding back on to our bathroom doorway.  He shaved down the bathroom door so that I don't have to throw my body against it to open it (not exaggerating).  He adjusted some closet doors so that they slide back and forth effortlessly - where before they had to be forcefully yanked from one side to the other.  He repaired some drawers we had built so that they close without me having to kick them closed every time (again, I'm not violent, but also not exaggerating).  This is the list I can rattle off at 9:30pm (feels like midnight).  He did one hundred other things that all together are making this a more conducive place to heal and get stronger.  Thank you Jon.

Valerie has continued to have trouble eating and keeping food down the past 2 days.  She will eat 6 pancakes and do fine and then have a few bites of spaghetti and not be able to tolerate that.  It's just very unpredictable.

She has the MRI of her brain tomorrow, Tuesday, at 11am PST. So, thoughts, prayers, good juju, anything like that you can spare towards a positive outcome is appreciated.  They are checking to make sure there isn't cancer in her brain triggering the nausea.

During a rough patch yesterday, communicating back and forth with Valerie's sister, Michelle.  Valerie expressed a desire to see her big sister.  Without hesitation, Michelle responded, "I'll be there tomorrow."  She, and her trusty sidekick, Carmen, hit the road last night - from Denver - and arrived here at about 1pm today.  Yes, they drove all night.  Valerie and I both cried when we saw them.  Such a powerful, immediate, loving response is hard to put into words adequately.  Thank you Michelle and Carmen.  It's been really, really good to see you both today.

Today is really the day to be thankful.... there's more. :)

I ran out of one of Valerie's pain medications today.  It's one that I can't get here... just in Mexico.  So, I texted a friend about a week ago.  She goes to Tijuana every so often and she said that her uncle might be going in a couple of weeks.  Well, Saturday, I got a text from her saying that her mom was in TJ right then and she had instructed her to bring us back 3 boxes of the medicine that we need.  Thank you Sonia.

We also received a few more checks and paypal donations from friends at the Public Defender's Office wanting to help with Valerie's medical expenses.  Thank you guys!!!  (I will one day make a list of people and thank you all by name.)

Since Valerie has been taking an anti-anxiety medication for the nausea - and since she's been nauseous the last few days - we've been wondering if her medication needs to be changed.  After consulting with some friends in that field, it seems that she might be able to increase the dosage a bit to see if that helps the nausea.  Right after hanging up the phone today, I gave Valerie a little bigger dose of the anti-anxiety and we are hopeful that it's helping.  She hasn't thrown up again today and she has eaten and kept everything down.  Fingers crossed.  Thank you Alexi and Donald.

Gorgeous Long Beach sky today

Today, there was a BBQ in our courtyard.  Because things have been so stressful, we weren't sure we would go.  But some people (Joaquin) can get away with things that others (ME) can't.  :)  Joaquin, the Pranic Healer that's been working with Valerie, was here.  As usual, he and Valerie spent quite some time talking.  Before long, he had her outside and greeting the rest of his family and saying hi to the neighbors.  Thank you Joaquin for your strength and uplifting nature.  Thank you Maricela for the advice to "look up."  (that's where the cool sky picture came from)  Thank you Ms. Renteria for the warm, healing touch that you gave to Valerie.  Thank you Karim for the book - I've already made notes. Such a beautiful bunch of people that we live around and near.  The love was abundant today.

I will say it again... anytime I start to say thank yous I cringe a bit knowing that I'll forget someone or something.  Please know that it isn't for a lack of appreciation or love for you, it's for lack of sleep, concentration, or ability to manage so many balls in the air at one time.

We love and appreciate you all - whether you give your money, time, prayers, food, or love.
Thank you.

ROUGH COUPLE OF DAYS

AFTER bathroom picture

The last 2 days have been rough..... more nausea, less eating and less supplements.

We think it's due to several things.... one is the amount of commotion in the house has increased; two is the hormone blocker pill that she started taking; and three is the change in meds she's been taking.

Valerie has thrown up 2 or 3 times in the last 2 days and she's been nauseated a lot more.  She did start the hormone blocker on Tuesday and the doctor at the Oasis of Hope said it would be like "menopause on steroids."  Needless to say, we've all been a little afraid.  :)

There has also been a LOT of commotion in the house... not unwanted commotion, but commotion nonetheless.  The pictures show what some of the commotion created..... a bathroom out of what was once a pepto bismol explosion.  And the current bathroom picture doesn't even do it justice.... it looks a LOT better than the picture looks.  SO much nicer than what's been in there.  I can't find a picture of what that room has looked like for the past few months, but it has been extremely chaotic.  There was a coat rack serving as a hanger for towels and robes and a hamper and trash can in the middle of the room.  NOW we pass it and it actually LOOKS like a bathroom.  We can actually USE it like a bathroom.  There's a toilet, a sink AND a shower.  It's almost unbelievable.  

BEFORE bathroom picture

Valerie and Jon talked about her medication tonight.  He suggested that she taper off some of the mediation more gently than she had been doing.  That may also have contributed to her stress and nausea.

Some good news.... Valerie's sister, Michelle, was looking into a pool nearby that was not so heavy on the chlorine (chemicals are not good for cancer).  She let us know today that the local salt water pool has some free time on the weekends and they want to offer that time to Valerie at NO charge.  We are looking VERY forward to checking that out. Valerie LOVES the water and it can be so healing and therapeutic.

I want everyone to know that I feel VERY inadequate when it comes to thanking people and giving shout outs to the right people.  We have been so lucky to have SO many people being supportive and loving.  We love and cherish each and every thought, gesture, and gift sent our way.  You have all been so kind and generous.

love to you all.

ONE MORE DAY

Today's picture is from a high school friend that I probably haven't seen since about..... oh, high school.  :)  She sent a care package with silverware for the family condo and all of the things that helped with Valerie's nausea - peppermint, croutons, and pasta.  Thanks Anissa!!!

Yesterday, Valerie slept a lot.  She remembered that the day before, she did not use her walker at all that day.  She has been routinely using her walker for stability when walking around the house, and anywhere for that matter.  On Tuesday, she walked around a lot and didn't use it at all.  Since she's lost so much weight, it takes a lot of energy for her just to carry her own weight around without the support.  She still ate and took her supplements, she just needed the rest.

One of Valerie's nieces, Melissa, arrived yesterday.  She has already been finishing the paint job in the main bathroom.  And she's spent some time just talking to her Aunt Val and letting her know how much she loves her.  Tonight, at about 8:30pm, Valerie really wanted some melon.  Melissa jumped on a bike and found her way to our grocery and got some melon!

Valerie's brother, Jon, continues to finish up on some of our remodeling that has been left by the wayside.  He has now put on a new screen door, installed the toilet in the front bathroom, put in the vanity and hooked up the faucet for the vanity, repaired some defective drawers, installed new door knobs, door stops, and MANY other things that slip my mind at 11:30pm.  :)

Valerie's mom has been making sure Valerie has all of her medication throughout the day and has something to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  It helps knowing that everyone is pitching in and trying to make things smoother and easier.

Valerie started taking hormone blockers yesterday.  The doctor in Mexico said that it could make her feel and act like menopause on steroids.  oh fun.  :)  We've all been waiting for the side effects - we'll keep you posted.

We've also scheduled an MRI of her brain for next Tuesday.  The oncologist wants to cover all of the bases re: the nausea.  Apparently the only thing left (besides psychology) is something in her brain.  So, when that is ruled out, we'll know for sure that it's the stress of everything going on that's causing the nausea.

Continued thank yous to everyone for their support and love.  And special thank yous to Aunt Vicki (for always having an encouraging word), Uncle Dwight (for daily positive messages), Alexi (for just being there), and Keyvan (for organizing and just being you).  Thanks to all of you, I hope and plan to have more and more good news to report as the days go on.

MOVIN' ON UP - THE SOUNDTRACK

Okay, so when I told Valerie what I titled the post last night, she said, "Well, then we have to sing it too."  I thought she was delirious and half asleep... but here it is.

It's filmed as a video, but it was dark, so it's just the audio.

My apologies ahead of time.  :)

COME ON WEEZY... WE'RE STILL MOVIN' ON UP!

Jon, Mom P, Valerie & Tracie

Ok, if you're too young to get the title, Google it..... or not.  :)

Valerie continues to make strides towards recovery and improvement.  Yesterday (Sunday) we went out to eat at our corner pizza place.  Spaghetti has been sounding good to Valerie.  One of the lectures we attended at the Oasis of Hope said that spaghetti is a good thing to eat for it's low glycemic index, carbohydrates, etc.  There was biology involved, graphs, and lots of acronyms... I can't explain the particulars, but the doctor said spaghetti is good!  That part I remember.  So Valerie had spaghetti at the pizza place --- and she had her leftovers later that night.  2 good things in one... she is eating well, and we went OUT to eat.

Valerie's mom has been taking over making sure that Valerie has the right supplements, that she eats, and that she is cared for during the day.  I went back to work today.  It feels weird leaving Valerie but I know she is in good hands.

Valerie's brother, Jon, has been tearing up a to do list that we made (in a good way) - changing door knobs, making our threshold 1" high instead of 3" high (I've been complaining about that since we bought the place!), putting in a secure screen door, etc.  This picture does some justice to his work.... there's a saying about "sweat equity"... well, just look at the back of his shirt!

I also wanted to add a note about Michelle's time here.  Before she left, she gave us a copy of the flyer from the benefit concert... signed by all of the performers.  It's beautiful!  AND she gave us a check from their efforts of putting on the concert.  We are very lucky to have friends and family that came together to do such a nice, generous, wonderful thing.  That check will help us pay for the treatment that she had in Mexico and in doing so, will lighten a heavy load of financial stress.

I also received another batch of checks from my friends and coworkers at the Public Defender's Office.  A kitchen table and chairs (with other kitchen odds and ends) was delivered to us today to help furnish the family condo.  Thank you Karen!!

We will never be able to adequately thank all of you for your generosity, kindness, compassion, and love during this time.  Please know that we love you and appreciate all of you VERY MUCH!!!

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!